Tuesday, October 14, 2008

New COWrolla


Answer to high gas prices. Available soon at sales in .......

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Pumpkin Condo

Squirrel Scare!!!

Squirrel Scare!! if you listen carefully amongst the brown, yellow, and orange fallen leaves, you can hear the patter of little feet. You can see a furry little critter with a bushy tail hopping along as if he...or is it a she..were looking for some goodies. Don't be alarmed because these cute furry creatures are just squirrels. Don't think you've gone nuts if they approach you for a treat. Beware..they do bite if you try to rub their tummies. I've overheard more conversations lately regarding these little creatures destroying property.They like to build nests in attics, chew on wood and anything that looks appetizing.I suppose this attributes to why people call them "pests." My parents had squirrels in their attic one time. You know what "skeered' those critters away..moth balls. Don't pay an Environmental Control company. to get rid of them....just visit a local Wally World and purchase moth balls. "Breakfast is ready," my father yelled. He thought I was still asleep but I wasn't. Instead, I was dreading eating that morning. Daddy had been hunting the day before. Slowly, I walked into the kitchen, gazed at the table and the tears began to flow. I told my father that he was a mean man because he had killed some squirrels and they wanted to live and have fun like he did. As time passed, my father stopped hunting and killing little creatures. I wonder if going to church had anything to do with his change of attitude about hunting and killing animals. He didn't attend church when I was a young child . In my teen years, we opened and closed the doors to our small place of worship. As for moi, I truly enjoy squirrel watching as much as I do bird watching.They may be a rodent to some of you but to me their cute ..squirrelicious..and I "ain't nutz."

Squirrel Facts

Squirrel's belong to the order "Rodentia", with 1650 species, it is the largest group of living mammals. It also comprises forty percent of all present day mammal species.

There are over 365 species of squirrels in seven families. They include the tree squirrel, ground squirrel, and flying squirrel. Plus many squirrel-like mammals such as the gopher, ground hog and prairie dog.

Squirrels are usually born in the early spring. The average litter consists of four. This varies with climate and location. A second litter can occur in mid summer, if there is an adequate food supply.

The squirrel's erratic path while crossing a street is an attempt to confuse the oncoming vehicle... thereby causing it to change direction..

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Autumn Antics

>EQUINOX Two times of the year when night and day are about the same length. The Sun is crossing the Equator (an imaginary line around the middle of the Earth) and it is an equal distance from the North Pole and the South Pole.

SPRING EQUINOX: The first day of the Season of Spring - and the beginning of a long period of sunlight at the Pole. In the northern hemisphere: MARCH 20 (the Sun crosses the Equator moving northward). In the southern hemisphere: SEPTEMBER 22 (the Sun crosses the Equator moving southward).

AUTUMN EQUINOX: The first day of the Season of Autumn - and the beginning of a long period of darkness at the Pole. In the northern hemisphere: SEPTEMBER 22 (the Sun crosses the Equator moving southward). In the southern hemisphere: MARCH 20 (the Sun crosses the Equator moving northward)

Monday, September 22, 2008

Autumn Colors

We all enjoy the colors of autumn leaves. Did you ever wonder how and why a fall leaf changes color? Why a maple leaf turns bright red? Where do the yellows and oranges come from? To answer those questions, we first have to understand what leaves are and what they do.

Leaves are nature's food factories. Plants take water from the ground through their roots. They take a gas called carbon dioxide from the air. Plants use sunlight to turn water and carbon dioxide into glucose. Glucose is a kind of sugar. Plants use glucose as food for energy and as a building block for growing. The way plants turn water and carbon dioxide into sugar is called photosynthesis. That means "putting together with light." A chemical called chlorophyll helps make photosynthesis happen. Chlorophyll is what gives plants their green color.

As summer ends and autumn comes, the days get shorter and shorter. This is how thetrees "know" to begin getting ready for winter.

During winter, there is not enough light or water for photosynthesis. The trees will rest, and live off the food they stored during the summer. They begin to shut down their food-making factories. The green chlorophyll disappears from the leaves. As the bright green fades away, we begin to see yellow and orange colors. Small amounts of these colors have been in the leaves all along. We just can't see them in the summer, because they are covered up by the green chlorophyll.

The bright reds and purples we see in leaves are made mostly in the fall. In some trees, like maples, glucose is trapped in the leaves after photosynthesis stops. Sunlight and the cool nights of autumn cause the leaves turn this glucose into a red color. The brown color of trees like oaks is made from wastes left in the leaves.

It is the combination of all these things that make the beautiful colors we enjoy in the fall.


Being A Pumpkin...

Being a human is like being a pumpkin. God lifts you up, takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. He opens you up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff-- including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside you to shine for all the world to see. This was passed on to me from another pumpkin. Now, it is your turn to pass it to a pumpkin. I liked this enough to send it to all the pumpkins in my patch. Happy Fall!

Monday, September 15, 2008

New Hat

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
holding her hat tight
so that it would not blow away in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said,
"Pardon me, madam.
I do not intend to be forward
but did you know that your dress
is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady.
"I need both my hands
to hold onto this hat."
"But madam, you must know that you are
not wearing any panties
and your privates are exposed!"
said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down,
then back up at the man
and replied,
"Sir, anything you see down there
is 85 years old.
I just bought this hat yesterday!"

Monday, September 8, 2008

They Walk Amongst Us

They Walk Amongst Us

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was Educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the Money back .... same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.

They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.' 'They're already buy-one-get-one-free,' she said, 'so I guess they're both free'.

She Handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.

They Walk Among Us! One day I was walking down the beach with some Friends when one of them shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!'. Someone looked up at the sky and said, 'Where'?

They Walk Among Us! While looking at a house, my brother asked the real Estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff.'
They Walk Among Us!
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

They Walk Among Us! I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?'

They Walk Among Us! While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man Ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked Him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.'

They Walk Among Us, and they Reproduce, and Worst of all ............
A friend sent this to me. He walks amongst us, too. lol

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Filler Up, Please

May I help you?" "Yes, "filler up", please." AWW the days of the full-service gas stations. You just rolled your Oldsmobile into the station and someone, usually a gentleman, walked up to your car and offered to service it for free excluding the charge for the gasoline. The attendant , dressed in a snappy clean and pressed uniform with a matching hat, would wash your windshield, check your oil, and air-pressure in your tires while the gas was pumping. When people traveled in Florida during these glory days, an attendant would even sweep the floors of your car. I suppose they didn't want tourists to export any sand.

A typical gas station had one island with two to four pumps and two or three bays where you took your car for service or maintenance. Prices were less in those days which made the entire experience more cheerful. I think peoples' attitudes were more cheerful, too. Thus, the reason for being referred to as the "Happy Days."

Gas wars raged during the 50s and 60s . Some stations would give you a free cup of coffee or S&H Green Stamps to thank you for your patronage. One stamp was awarded for every ten cents worth of gas. You accumulated enough stamps to fill books to be redeemed at a S&H Redemption Center. You could buy household items , apparel, gifts, furniture and other useful products. I wonder what happened to those ugly green lamps?

From, 1950-1959 the average American wage went from around $2,650 to about $3,855 a year During the same 10 years, gasoline went from around 27 cents to only 30 cents a gallon. And the 60's weren't much different. Americans who weren't reciting Beatnik poetry in coffee houses earned about $4,500 in 1960. And by 1969, those who weren't bumming "spare change" in Haight Ashbury were more than likely working hard for $6,900 a year.Meanwhile, gassing-up your "rod" only set you back 30 cents a gallon in 1960. And by 1969, it had only gone up a nickel to 35 cents a groovy gallon. .From 1995-2005, annual wages went from around $24,700 to about $36,400 while gasoline skyrocketed from $1.10 to a depressing $2.15 per gallon. And
unlike teh 50's adnd, popular music didn't get any better.60's

So if you want to take a trip down memory lane, driving might be an economical way to go. From Perry Como to Elvis Presley to The Beatles would be a trip that only varied in cost by 8 cents a gallon from beginning to end. But be warned, if you continue cruising into modern times, you better be ready for a steep uphill drive.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Four-Year-Old Buying Gas

Cute video of a little boy playing gas station with his father. (Click title)

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back. Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away. Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget what's right and wrong. Sometimes we just don't realize what real friendship means until it is too late. I don't want to let that happen so I'm gonna tie you to my heart so I never lose you.

Life is not fair..get used to it

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a high school about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you agree, pass it on. If you can read this - Thank a teacher!
If you can read this in English Thank a soldier!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Hey Dudes DUH

Some days you just need to stay home from work. Like ..duh..who's in charge? Who has a license for pouring concrete? Nevermind. If all else fails read the blueprint and directions.

The Butler Did It

Ready, quiet, action....don't break a leg. I love live theater preformances. I posted this a few years ago in Yahoo. Curtain going up.

I reside in a quaint town commonly referred to by many as TrussVegas. I shall not be offened by this because ...afterall... I pay enough taxes to actaully live in Vegas. It is a family oriented community with great pride in its aesthetic appearances and, of course, the local football team. Now, "the coach" is another story of pride and prejudice. I try to keep up with hometown gossip by reading the posts on the local forum. Kinda glad my daughter is an adult..well, more or less....and doesn't attend school anymore. "The "Cahaba Project" is an area near downtown TrussVegas It is comprised of homes built post WWII. The dwellings are still pretty with many having additions built on to them in order to accommodate the present contemporary families. It is rather prestigious to reside within these praticular blocks of "The Mall." or "Project" No, I'm down the street. It's delightful to watch people walking with their families and/or pets, jogging. biking, playing tennis or riding in the hundreds of vehicles that cruise the main street daily. Traffic is just one of our primary problems.. don't mention it when you visit, though. Some residents are of the opinion that they are living in Utopia.The secondary institution of higher education ( lol) is within walking distance of downtown and across the street from the the millddle-school is this "dahlin' building known as ACTA...our local little theatre.

I am proud of the productions that are presented and performed by many local actors..This past Saturday evening was no exception. Nelda, Carol Betty, Carolyn and I enjoyed dining prior to attending the play. We walked from where we had parked at a local restaurant across the street Gas prices are too high to be wasteful. We meandered slowly into the non-white table, order on your own, wait it line on your own time, get your own comdiments, and carry your own tray to the table at the elite establishment of cuisine better known as Wendy's. Time was a factor and we couldn't wait to be seated at the other restaurant. By the way, the food was pretty good..and cheap. After partaking of this delicious meal, we escaped to the theatre without any traffic interruptions... afterall, we only had a mile to travel.

I knew "The Butler Did It." Cute comedy with very intriguing personalities amongst the characters. We escaped with the visitors to Ravenswood Manor on Turkey Island and became enthralled in solving the murders and wondering did the butler really do it. A very enjoyable evening of laughter and fellowship with friends.. I will never tell. Did the butler do it?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

When I Whine

When I Whine ~~~~~~~ Today, upon a bus, I saw a girl with golden hair I looked at her and sighed and wished I was as fair. When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle. She had one leg and used a crutch But as she passed, she passed a smile. Oh, God, forgive me when I whine I have 2 legs, the world is mine. ~~~ I stopped to buy some candy The lad who sold it had such charm I talked with him a while, he seemed so very glad If I were late, it'd do no harm. And as I left, he said to me, "I thank you, you've been so kind. It's nice to talk with folks like you. You see," he said, "I'm blind." Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have 2 eyes, the world is mine. ~~~ Later while walking down the street, I saw a child with eyes of blue He stood and watched the others play He did not know what to do. I stopped a moment and then I said, "Why don't you join the others, dear?" He looked ahead without a word. And then I knew, he couldn't hear. Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have 2 ears, the world is mine. ~~~ With feet to take me where I'd go. With eyes to see the sunset's glow. With ears to hear what I would know. Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I've been blessed indeed, The world is mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If this passage makes you feel like I felt, just forward it to all your friends, after all, it's just a simple reminder.... We have soooooo much to be thankful for!!! ~~~~~~ Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, Faith looks up.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Sweet Home Alabama

This news just in:
All of the Wal-Marts across Alabama sold out of ammunition as of yesterday.
A reliable source said that one of the purchasers commented that while Russia may have invaded Georgia, they sure ain't doin' it to Alabama

Monday, August 25, 2008

HALP Me.PLeeze

P.S. The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him: 'Oh, I do it all the time. No matter where I am in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I ask myself: 'Now, what am I here after?'

Lost in the 50s Tonight

----- It wasen't that long ago I remember ------DO YOU? It doesn't seem like that long ago.................. for 1 or 2 of us. Maybe 3... Only 52 years ago! Comments made in the year 1955.. 'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.' 'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2000 will only buy a used one.' 'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.' 'Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?' 'If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.' 'When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.' 'Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls.' I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying 'damn' in 'Gone With The Wind,' it seems every new movie has either 'hell' or 'damn' in it. 'I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas ' 'Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president.' 'I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.' 'It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.' 'It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.' 'Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat.' 'I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.' 'Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress.' 'The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.' 'There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel.' 'No one can afford to be sick any more; $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood.' 'If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it.' Know friends who would get a kick out of these?

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Bur /min /ham

Bur/ min/ ham


Pronounce the city's name this way: Bur/min/ham
Driving Information:

Burmin'ham has its own version of traffic rules.
1. The truck with the loudest exhaust goes next at a 4-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires goes after that.
**Note Blue haired ladies driving anything have right-of-way anytime.
2. To find anything in the city it is required that you know where Malfunction Junction is... which is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. It is one of only two 'cloverleaf' formation interchanges in the world. We invented it and only one other city was stupid enough to implement it again---Atlanta---making them dumber---than we are.
3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00 AM. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning and runs thru Saturday Noon. If the term 'merging delays' is ever used by the person reporting the traffic, even in passing, call in to work and tell them that you will be at least 30 minutes late regardless of where you are in your commute.
4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be (at the very least) rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. This applies to male and female drivers alike.
5. You must know that 'I-459', ' I-59', 'I-20', and 'I-65' are the same road -- they just loop around the city. We think this was a ploy to confuse outsiders and discourage visitors after the War of Northern Aggression.
6. Always find out if it is a race weekend before you get on any of these 'roads' to travel somewhere. If it is a race weekend, stay home or go to the races. You won't be going anywhere else.
7. Construction is a permanent fixture in Burmin'ham. The barrels are moved around in the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
8. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as deer, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, potholes, cats, armadillos, pieces of other cars, couches, mattresses, opossum, truck tires, raccoons, squirrels, rabbits, and crows or vultures feeding on any of these items.
9. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally activated'...
10. The minimum acceptable speed on 'I-65' (see item 5 above) is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. This is Alabama 's State Highway sponsored version of NASCAR, especially during rush hour (see item 3 above) when it's 85 and everyone in the city is driving at once, bumper to bumper. If you are in the left lane and only going 70 in a 55-65 zone, you are considered a road hazard, and will be treated accordingly.
11. Do not gawk at the woman in the car beside you in traffic who is applying makeup, talking on a cell phone, drinking a Diet Coke, smoking a Marlboro, and maintaining a steady speed of 85 mph on I-65 in rush hour traffic. If she is coming from North of Burmin'ham, she might be packing. If she is coming from South of Burmin'ham, she IS packing and is not afraid to use it.
Weather Information:
1. If it's 110 degrees Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
2. If its 10-20 degrees and sleeting/snowing, then watch out, Burmin'ham residents consider this 'demolition derby' day and will be all over the roads (front ways, back ways, etc). Please proceed with caution, as you could be their next target.
Seasonal Information:
1. If you stick to the seats in your vehicle, it is Spring.
2. If you need to let the car 'get some air' by standing next to it with the doors open for a minute before you can stick your upper body inside to crank it and get the air going, it is Summer.
3. If you are sweating even with the windows down, driving 55 mph, it is Fall. 4. If you finally turn the AC off and roll your windows up, it is Winter.
General Information (very important):
1. Do not ever speak to anyone during the song ' Sweet Home Alabama ' unless it is to sing along with the lyrics. This is like the State Song and will erupt in a brawl if everyone doesn't show 'proper respect' to the band who gave us 'Free Bird'. This is especially true if alcohol is present. Notice I didn't say 'sold at this event' but present.
2. Yes, we know that Vulcan is mooning the entire city of Homewood . It's not that funny to us anymore.
3. If you ask someone for a 'coke', they will immediately ask you what kind'? This is not a trick question. Tell them what you want: Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Root Beer, etc.... it's all 'coke'.
4. All tea is sweet. If it's not sweet, you have crossed the Mason Dixon Line and are in the North. Y'all come back now, ya hear!!!

Thanks George Carlin

Message by George Carlin: The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stock room. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete... Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Speaking of Wally World

Look at the cake first and, then, read the dialogue below.
Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:
Wal-Mart Employee: 'Hello 'dis Wal-Mart's, how can I help you?'

Customer: 'Yes, I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'
Wal-Mart Employee: 'Whachu want on da cake?'
Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne.' And underneath that, 'We will miss you'. '

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Eagle in the Surf

I traced through many cultures. The Aztecs told how during the creation of the present world, the eagle and the jaguar fought over who would have the honor of becoming the sun. The eagle settled the matter by flinging himself into a fire and, thus, becoming the sun. The jaguar, following close behind, settled for becoming the moon, with the spots on his coat showing that he had been only partially burned. In light of this tale, it's easy to see why the Aztec eagle and jaguar warrior societies were considered the most elite of the military orders. The Aztecs also tied the eagle to the sun in another way, comparing the daily journey of the all-important sun to an eagle's flight: rising on the warming air of morning and swooping down out of sight at night in pursuit of prey. The eagle plays a crucial role in the sun dance of the Plains peoples of North America, and symbolizes the sun in the rites of some of the Southwestern tribes. The Iroquois tell of Keneu, the golden eagle, and of Oshadagea, the giant eagle with a lake of dew on his back who lives in the western sky. This Iroquois poem, quoted in The Return of the Sea Eagle by John A. Love (1983) appears to tell of Keneu:I hear the eagle birdWith his great feathers spread,Pulling the blanket back from the east,How swiftly be flies,Bearing the sun to the morning.
On the other side of the Atlantic arose a belief about the eagle and the sun that persisted for many centuries. The eagle was thought to he the only animal capable of looking directly into the sun. Aristotle and Pliny wrote of this and added that the eagle tested its young by facing them to the sun, rejecting any that looked away.The writers of early bestiaries, such as the twelfth-century Book of Beasts, added to the eagle's mystery by giving it the power of eternal youth: When the eagle grows old and his wings become heavy and his eyes become darkened with a mist, then he goes in search of a fountain, and, over against it, he flies up to the height of heaven, even into the circle of the sun, and there he singes his wings and at the same time evaporates the fog of his eyes in ray of the sun. Then at length taking a header down into the fountain, he dips himself three times in it, and instantly he is renewed with a great vigour of plumage and splendor of vision. (myth)--Stephen Friar, A Dictionary of Heraldry, quoting the translation of T. H. WhiteChristians adopted this symbolism, comparing the eagle looking into the sun to Christ looking at His Father, and the renewal of the eagle's youth through its plunge into the fountain to the renewal of the soul through baptism. Even today, an eagle may he spied on the baptismal fonts in some older churches.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Good Service Comes From the Heart

If you have a minute, please watch the following video clip it is a beautiful story of Johnny, the grocery store bagger. It is very short, but it will remind you of why and how we make an impact in what we do. You may even want to share it with others & I hope you will. Make Their Day, too! Click Here To View The Movie

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Doggone Crime


Monday, March 31, 2008

Why Cats Do That Thing?

Cats need to knead. Nobody knows much about why cats do anything. There are many notions but few dependable facts. The usual suspects are: The cat is reverting to kitten behavior in which the mother is not producing an immediate supply of milk and the kneading opens the gates. Seems reasonable and likely. I have many cats. Actually I have two, they just seem like many. One kneads often, the other-never.Some suggest that the cat who kneads in adulthood was weaned too early. Maybe so. (I guess I should explain that ‘making biscuits’ is a colloquialism for kneading. Sounds good to me).Some say that the cat who kneads in adulthood was weaned too late. For this we need scientists?Who can say? Purring is even worse. It seems that cats purr as they are dying. How does that relate to all the happy purring? The kiss of death? No, that’s a whole other scenario. Purr them an offer they can’t refuse. I don’t know.The Rising Rump Syndrome is another matter and cannot be discussed without adult supervision.Some of my two cats are chicken and some are bold. I say some because they switch sides; one day chicken one day bold. They sniff-to-death things they have sniffed for years as if they had never sniffed them before. I bring in a new object; they don’t know it exists. Two days later it is the exclusive property of one and the other should drop dead before touching it.I bring home an elegant cat toy full of catnip and bells. They play with the bag. I’m gone for a week and a neighbor feeds them. I come home, they never heard of me.A stranger comes to the door, they run for the hills. A friend they have met a hundred times comes to the door, they run for the hills. I come home from shopping. They yawn.I’m trying to watch television; plop, right in front of my eyes. I go make dinner, plop, right on the counter. I go to the bathroom; plop, all over me.Now I want to pet and cuddle; sorry, sleeping time. I run the vacuum, I’m Frankenstein. I get a piece fish; oy! What can I tell you?People write books about cats. What do they know? All they got is facts. You want to know about cats? You don’t want to know.

Maxine and Her 5 Boyfriends

MAXINE AND HER 5 BOYFRIENDS! I am seeing 5 gentlemen everyday. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go to see John. Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint. After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life! Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer. P.S. The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him: 'Oh, I do it all the time. No matter where I am in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I ask myself: 'Now, what am I here after?'

Sunday, March 30, 2008

But, dahlin, I want this Tara

Oh, if only I had a Rhett Butler to buy this "Tara" for me. I suppose all the Clark Gables are "gone with the wind." ( pardon the pun)I saw this home in al.com/travel. The data was posted by the present owner. It is for sale at a reasonable price if all the furnishings remain. My concern ..who would do the dusting cause Ms Scarlet, " I don't nos nuttin bout cleanin." I do delcare that ,frankly, at this age and stage in my life, I really don't give a d..... about caring for a home this large. BUT, if I can sweep a Rhett off his feet, I might do a little "dustin and cleanin" myself. Pass the Swifter, peleeeze.

The Benjamin Ellis Home (29 Pics)

This wonderful home is located in Orrville,AL in Dallas County Alabama. It was built in approximately 1850. I have been told that originally it was the Orrville Boys Academy. For most of its life it was the home of the Ellis and Dunaway families. Benjamin Ellis, a confederate veteran and prominent merchant, lived in the home for many years and left it to his heirs. They owned it until the late 1970's. There are still pictures and furnishings in the home that belonged to the Ellis family. The home is a wonderfully preserved example of a Greek Revival with huge impressive columns in the front and a large front porch The house is in excellent condition.
The home is about 5,000 SF with 5/6 bedrooms and 2 1/2 baths. There are 7 fireplace mantels in the home. The doors and woodwork are original. The home has hardwood floors throughout. While it has been thoroughly updated, it retains its historic charm and country feel with old features throughout (doors, trim, windows, etc.). It is located on a residential street in a small town. It is located about 15 miles outside Selma, AL. Selma has one of the largest intact historic districts in the state. The original state capital, Cahaba, which is now a ghost town, is only about 10 mintues away. There is really a lot of neat historical stuff nearby. I have met a lot of nice people in the area and living here is a great chance to enjoy the deep south. Orrville is centrally located to a lot of Southern cities: New Orleans is about 300 miles away, Birmingham 110 miles, Montgomery 60 miles, Mobile 143 miles, Huntsville 200 miles, Atlanta 226 miles, Tallahassee 270 miles, Pensacola 163 miles, Memphis 318 miles, Chattanooga 258 miles. The climate in the area has very mild winters. Snow is rare and the coldest month of January has an average high temperature of 55 degrees and an average low of 33 degrees.
My primary residence is in Sarasota and I have used it as a second home (and allow family members to use the home). We love the home and the area but we are just not using the home enough to substantiate keeping it and so have reluctantly decided to put it on the market. Sarasota (and Florida in general) is known as a retirement destination. What many retirees are coming to find is that Florida has it's drawbacks. Hurricances are a threat that many find too much to handle and the accompanying insurance comes with outrageous premiums. Real estate prices in Florida have skyrocketed and it is a very unstable market. Florida property taxes are high. I own a mortgage company and I can tell you that you can own a historic mansion in my home for what it would cost you to buy a very modest middle class home in Sarasota. That being said, the property taxes in Orrville are about $900 a year and my homeowners insurance is about $1,300. In Sarasota (or other parts of Florida) you would be looking at maybe $2,700 for the taxes and $3,000 for the insurance on a similar priced home. IN Florida we are experiencing a term called half backs: retirees that retire to Florida and then relocate to other southern states (Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, South Carolina, North Carolina) to secure a mild climate with a reasonable cost of living. Why not look at Alabama from the start. Orrville is a great destimation for someone who will enjoy a slow pace of life in a rural setting. The nice things is that you are only 15 miles away from a good sized city and an hour away from the State Capital in Montgomery. There are several small business in Orrville (hardware auto parts, convenieince store, mom and pop grocery, restaurant and post office) so you do not have to leave town everytime you need something. You are only a few hours from the beaches and the convergenece of the Alabama and Cahaba rivers is only about 10 miles from the house if you are a boating enthusiast.
There are just not that many of these types of home left. This one has always been well maintained and is now in ready to use condition. An old house can be very expensive to restore but in this case it has really been done. The roof is only a few years old. The previous owners wrapped the house in vinyl that looks like the original siding. I am kind of a history buff so I probably would not have done it but since owning it can appreciate that it looks as good as the day it was installed and does not need maintenance like paint (think of what ti would cost to paint regularly). The porch was recently rebuilt. I had a contractor get under the house (it is raised piling construction) to inspect the structure and he determined everything to be very solid and sturdy. All of the electrical and wiring has been replaced. Nearly all of the plumbing from the road to the actual plumbing fixtures has been replaced. New insulations has been installed throughout the attics. The interior electrical fixtures have been restored or replaced. The interior has been painted in decorator colors throughout. There are beautiful window treatments throughout. The hardwood floors have been refinished. There are three newer central heat and air units. Using these, you can choose to heat or cool sections of the house differently to keep your costs reasonable. Additionally there are heating units in several areas of the house if you choose to heat a small area (you can for example keep a part of the downstairs at 65 degress and heat the room you are in with an individual unit to 80 if you like to do so). The heat is propane. We have city water and septic (which i have also been told was newer when I bought the house). I have never had a problem with it.
Downstairs there are 12 foot celings and upstairs 10 foot celings. The butlers pantry adjacent to the kitchen has a huge built in unit. Three of the 5 or 6 bedrooms have large closets. We left the kitchen with older cabinets and porcelain sink when we restored the house because we wanted it to look like Grandma's country kitchen circa 1950. It does have nearly new appliances. The baths have been redone with octagonal ceramic tile and wainscoting. The downstairs bath has a large clawfoot tub and a stained glass window. The house has a great floorplan and is great for entertaining. There is a large storage area upstairs. The home and outbuildings have a monitored alarm system.
One of the things that appealed to me about the property was the grounds. The four acres (all maintained) have dozens of mature pecan trees, oaks, magnolias, and all kinds of blooming plants. There are about 8 outbuildings including: a guest house, a workshop, a brick greenhouse, a smokehouse, and numerous other storage buildings. Some of them have been restored, some need work. My most recent project has been the guest house. The former cook for the owners of the home lived in it for years and when I bought the home it had been vacant for probably 25 years. It was an absolute hazard. I used materials from other old sharecropper houses (neighbors allowed me to dismantle) to restore it. This house is shown in two of the pictures and the inside is the picture with the work materials on the floor. It is now a 2 bedroom 2 bath house. It has a large front porch and a nice rear porch. It fronts a residential street and views a nice field in the back corner of the property. It has been strucutrally restored. It has a new 200 amp electric service all brand new (with seperate service meter). It has electric central heat and air. The plumbing is all new. The water is supplied from lines form the main house. Each bath (still in progress) will have a shower, a clawfoot tub, and a pedestal sink. The kitchen has newish appliances. There are nice ligth fixtures and fans throughout. I wamted a rustic country look and for someone who likes that feel they will love it. The front of the house is about 16 x 30 open kitchen family room area. The home has nicely finished rustic hardwood floors throughout. This would be a great rental property or home for guest or family members. The inside is a work in progrerss and is nearing completion and the outside has not been restored. I will continue to work on it as long as I own the home.
This property would make a great large family home or a second or vacation home. As the sup[ply of these homes is so limited, I am sure that it will be a good long term investment. It is still miraculous to me that you can own such a fine home for such an affordable price. I am offering the home at